Comments on: Fiction Friday #156

By: Emily

Emily — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 03:16:54 +0000

Awesome! I loved it. I love sci-fi and that was great. Nice Job. I agree with others, Kyle was written in beautifully.

Mine:

http://uncleteebooks.blogspot.com/2010/05/fiction-friday-may-21-2010.html

By: Steve

Steve — Fri, 28 May 2010 09:28:05 +0000

I agree with everyone else, I like the times. Also for some reason I really like the bit about the dad being a lawyer and not seeing the kid much. .-= NewToWritingGirl´s last blog ..Fiction Friday – The Dark =-.

By: Christine Mattice

Christine Mattice — Sat, 22 May 2010 17:59:03 +0000

You did a phenomenal job with this story. Your imagery and characterization were great and I felt like I was there. Your technique of ticking off the time worked really well to build suspense. Great job!

By: Adam Byatt

Adam Byatt — Fri, 21 May 2010 22:45:36 +0000

This a great interpretation of the prompt and definitely builds the suspense. The use of the time code gives it a cinematic feel, almost like the tv show, 24. Good, natural dialogue to establish the characters. Ending is good and promises so much more. .-= Adam Byatt´s last blog ..The Candle Burns Lowly =-.

By: Shelli

Shelli — Fri, 21 May 2010 19:12:38 +0000

I love the sci-fi, alien invasion explanation. Good interaction with father and son. I had a bit of a problem pinning down the boy’s age. At first, I thought, “He’s too young to be left alone!” Then you pointed out he was a well decorated Scout, and that soothed my mommy worry. But then he’s calling “Daddy” and crying. I think zeroing in on a 10-12 year old would have worked best.
.-= Shelli´s last blog ..The Dark Path =-.

By: NewToWritingGirl

NewToWritingGirl — Fri, 21 May 2010 16:50:35 +0000

By: Uncle Tee

Uncle Tee — Fri, 21 May 2010 15:36:12 +0000

Awesome! I loved it. I love sci-fi and that was great. Nice Job. I agree with others, Kyle was written in beautifully.

Mine:

http://uncleteebooks.blogspot.com/2010/05/fiction-friday-may-21-2010.html

By: Chris Chartrand

Chris Chartrand — Fri, 21 May 2010 13:15:47 +0000

The tension really came through on this piece. The time annotations worked well to help build suspense, especially with the watch stopping at the end. End of time, end of story, end of life as we know it. Nice job.

By: Walt

Walt — Fri, 21 May 2010 11:50:23 +0000

Loved the character Kyle. So young and innocent. The line "evil lake monster with three heads and bear’s feet" had me laughing out loud. Really enjoyed the story and the follow-through to the end. Thanks for sharing. .-= Walt´s last blog ..Fiction Friday #156 – Failed Sunrise =-.

By: Eileen Andrews

Eileen Andrews — Fri, 21 May 2010 11:49:58 +0000

Wow! I loved the time notations…brought me right along with the lack of sun. Very clever idea!
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