Fiction Friday #133

You can blame Benjamin Solah for this one.
I visited his blog today – as I do every day – and discovered this cool little thing called Fiction Friday. Curiosity getting the best of me as it always does, I decided to give it a try. Enjoy!

“This calls for blood! The Lord calls for sacrifice!” the old, deranged preacher yelled from his makeshift pulpit. “Johnny Rengle’s death …”

Suddenly a door on the left side of the chapel burst open. The old preacher stopped mid-sentence in shock. A man stepped through the door; a tall man. A very tall man – so tall he had to stoop to clear the frame. Once inside, he stood his full seven-foot four and glared indifferently at the old man at the pulpit.

The old man recoiled in fear. Pointing at the man and with shaky voice, he announced “Him! He’s the man who killed him! He killed Johnny Rengle!” The giant stepped forward.

“Stop! Stay back!” the old preacher demanded.

Tall Man rushed forward, clearing the twenty feet between them in just two easy strides, and grabbed the preacher by the throat before he could turn to run. He lifted the old man – all buck-seventy of him – off the floor with his one mighty arm and stared into his eyes with a cold, dead stare.

Punching and kicking in attempt to free himself, the preacher only accomplished angering the giant. The hand around his neck squeezed tighter and he felt the life being choked out of him.

“Freeze!” someone yelled from behind the giant. “Carl Rengle, you drop him right now!” Tall Man turned to face Deputy Carlson, still suspending the preacher in space.

“He kil’t my boy.”

“I know, Carl. We’ve got all the evidence we need to put him away. Now drop him!”

“Jail?”

“Yes, Carl. Prison.” Deputy Carlson thumbed the hammer on his revolver, the click echoing through the chapel.

“Not good enough.”

With that, Carl Rengle lifted his other hand, crashing it down on the preacher’s head. His skull caved in and his spinal cord sheared clean in two. Carl released the preacher, his lifeless body hitting the floor with a dull thud.

Three times, the sound of thunder resounded through the chapel and with each, the pain of a thousand spears pierced Tall Man’s chest. He stumbled backwards into the pulpit, flattening it under his falling weight. Two minutes later, he breathed his last breath.

Related posts:

  1. Fiction Friday #167 This week’s Fiction Friday prompt: Strains of Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry Be Happy” floated into the room. As Eric Sandburg...
  2. Fiction Friday #159 This week’s Fiction Friday prompt: Include this in your story: “I wish he’d knock on my door instead……..” Jan Weathers...
  3. Fiction Friday #166 This week’s Fiction Friday prompt: A covert trip into an attic reveals something unexpected. I felt the need to pay...
  4. Fiction Friday #164 This week’s Fiction Friday prompt: Use a McGuffin in your story. McGuffin: An object or person in a movie that...
  5. Fiction Friday #155 After a long hiatus from participating in Fiction Fridays, I’ve decided to start playing again. I didn’t quit for any...
This entry was posted in Fiction Friday. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Fiction Friday #133

  1. HYI says:

    Yea, it’s really John, esp the character of Carl. Can’t wait for more.

  2. First I’ve read of your work too and I like it. I love the surreal character of Carl and can really picture him in my head.
    Benjamin Solah´s last blog ..365: Day 97 & 98 My ComLuv Profile

  3. Sebtuebt says:

    I love this. And oddly enough, I have the perfect dress for tonight. Vampyre inspired with black and red and white. I always loved vamp lore.
    Sebtuebt´s last blog ..The Usual My ComLuv Profile

  4. CJT says:

    This was deliciously dark. I love the story line and what you’ve done with it. Welcome to Fiction Friday writing, too. Always good to read more authors.

    Check out mine at: http://wordvamp.wordpress.com/2009/12/11/called-by-a-goddess-to-serve/

  5. Annie Evett says:

    Welcome to Friday Fiction! So delightful to have “new blood” and what a way to announce yourself!
    Not only is it a great way to air a draft or thoughts, explore a character or just get over writers block; but an excellent exercise in giving constructive criticism.

    I enjoyed the confusion to whether this was set in a fantasy, gothic or other dreamscape world, before being relieved to find the genre of modernistic realism. You set the tempo in an well paced manner, utilising short sentences to reflect the panic the preacher (and no doubt the congregation) was feeling.

    my first draft offering can be found here. http://annieevett.blogspot.com/2009/12/first-blooding.html

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv Enabled